


Healing Therapy

by kat_fanfic



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Schmoop, Stupid Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 12:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat_fanfic/pseuds/kat_fanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had taken Bradley a while to recognize the subtle signs of Colin in pain, but now they stood out to him like neon signs in the dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Therapy

//The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love//  
Hubert H. Humphrey

 

„Jeez, Colin. Again?“ Bradley huffed incredulously, shaking his head as he got a good look at his co-star. It was 9 am and he’d just arrived on Set. Colin on the other hand had had to get up at the crack of dawn for some sunrise shoots, and so for the first time in what seemed like forever they hadn’t come in together. 

Angel, who’d been interrupted in telling Colin a story that probably bored the hell out of him, half-frowned in Bradley’s direction. “Why, good morning to you too, sunshine,” she mocked lightly. “Did you have a good lie-in?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Bradley answered distractedly. He wasn’t really in the mood for this particular kind of banter. Angel seemed to think that just because she kept her tone polite and used a lot of big words, her brand of humour topped everyone else’s. Usually, Bradley liked to dissuade her of that notion in great detail.

Colin watched them both with a tolerant smile but made no move to join in. He was sitting in one of those foldable chairs the crew liked to carry around a lot and a woollen blanket was tightly wrapped around his shoulders. The morning sun just barely touched his legs and if one wouldn’t know any better, he’d look about as comfortable as could be. 

Bradley did know better, though. He’d spent weeks, months really, getting behind that cute easy-going ‘No, really, I’m just a small-town boy far away from home’ kind of façade Colin liked to present to the world in general. 

Not that the real Colin was all that different, mind you. There was just so much more to him, more than most people ever got to see. 

Bradley prided himself on being one of the selected few, even more so after a very interesting conversation he’d had with Colin’s brother on the phone during hiatus, when the two of them had an appearance at some show. It’d been Colin’s turn to smile and nod for the host, so Bradley’d answered his co-stars ringing cell with: “Morgan’s Mansion of Manly Magicians, Merlin speaking?” 

“Right,” an amused male voice had said in the same drawl that’d been Bradley’s bane of existence the first few weeks of shooting. “You must be Bradley.”

Neil Morgan was like his younger brother in a lot of ways, the most important similarity being an instinctual acceptance of Bradley’s antics that bordered on creepy. It almost seemed like that patience, along with politeness, was inbred in Northern Irish lads. 

And huh, words like ‘lads’ hadn’t even been in his vocabulary prior to meeting Colin.

He’d talked to Neil for almost half an hour, pressing him for those precious little details that helped him to understand Colin better. Or to torture him with, depending on his mood. 

Surely it wasn’t fair that Colin never had to reveal much of himself to the public just because he had Bradley to step into the breach. So, yeah, he liked the attention and had no problem with talking a lot in interviews and during panels and the likes. In Bradley’s book though, that only meant that he had a right to be privy to information about Colin that few other people had, to balance out the scale in a way.

Neil fortunately agreed wholeheartedly and was surprisingly open considering they didn’t even know each other, really. At one point Bradley even asked him if there were any indications that Colin might have been adopted. A few moments later he had a picture showing a grinning Neil on his cell and no, there were no doubts about the two of them being brothers. Apparently, the ears were a family trait. 

When Colin finally came backstage, Bradley’d not only gotten a lot of ammunition in form of various childhood stories from Neil, but also the confirmation that despite being everyone’s darling wherever he went, Colin seldom let people come close.

“I’ll have to admit that I’m impressed,” Neil had said. “I’ve never heard my brother talk so much about anyone. He really likes you.”

Ignoring the warm feeling spreading through him, Bradley had answered with: “Well, it’s hard not to like me, really. I’m quite likeable.”

“And apparently it’s not just your hot body either,” was the deadpan reply, making Bradley choke on air. 

When Colin caught him coughing and spluttering into his cell, he’d grinned and said: “Serves you right for violating my privacy like that.” Taking the phone from him, Colin had patted him on the head, simultaneously threatening Neil with their mom if he ever told Bradley stories again. 

And really, tattling to Mama Morgan shouldn’t be quite that much of a threat, except Bradley’d met her once on Colin’s birthday. She was tiny, fiercely Irish and displayed the protective instinct of a lioness when it came to Colin. He was her baby, the youngest by a good five years, so naturally even her firstborn didn’t stand a chance.

After figuring that out, Bradley had tried to tease Colin about being a Mother’s boy, but the little creep had just smiled and nodded. Once, he’d even gotten a “Proud of it, too,” thrown in for good measure. He’d given up after that.

In hindsight, it had taken him longer than it probably should’ve to get what Neil had really talked about. It wasn’t that Bradley was slow, per se. It just so happened that deciphering Morgan-speak into proper English still proved to be quite a chore every once in a while. 

Neil obviously had tried to be really direct in his approach and Bradley knew enough to appreciate the effort. Still, it took a lot of intel-gathering and stealthy stalking of the youngest Morgan sprout to prove the various hypothesises correct he’d come up with after their talk. 

Hypothesis one: Colin was gay. Well, duh. He’d pretty much known that Colin was bi-sexual-but-leaning-towards-men by the end of the first week, mostly due to the fact that Colin told everyone that asked. It was a wonder that it wasn’t all over the Internet yet.

Hypothesis two: Colin liked him. Also a no-brainer, even though Bradley was realistic enough not to be all smug about it. Truth was, Colin liked everyone. He was one of those disgustingly even-tempered people that always had a kind word and a smile on their lips. He’d never talk badly about someone behind their backs like he and Angel sometimes did and the only time he’d rather say nothing at all than say something nice was when he suddenly remembered that he was actually quite shy. 

In return, everybody liked Colin back. A lot. Crew, cast and fans alike were drawn to him like gullible moths to an open flame. After all, Bradley’d only been half-kidding in his video diaries about everyone catering to Colin’s whim. Not that he blamed them. It was actually pretty hard to be mean to someone like Colin. Even Bradley himself, though teasing the other actor whenever the opportunity arose, found himself tampering down on the meaner jokes and had a disgusting tendency to apologize whenever he felt like he’d overstepped some invisible line.

When it came down to it, Bradley could only hope that his tendency to endear himself to the people around him so quickly would protect Colin from the kind of experiences he’d made himself early on in his career. 

He was fully aware of the fact that some of the crew thought he was an arrogant ass who didn’t deem them worthy of his attention. They’d judged him as quickly as he’d given up on trying to win them over. They could go screw themselves for all he cared. Wasn’t like he was there to make friends with everyone, for crying out loud. Those that persevered, that tried to look beneath the surface, those were the ones he actually *did* deem worthy of his attention. 

Also, he hated French, and coincidentally everyone that spoke it, with a passion. In his opinion, everyone should be forced to learn to speak a proper English, especially when filming a TV show. 

And that had absolutely nothing to do with him being a wee bit incompetent in learning even the everyday stuff, thank you very much. 

“Bradley,” a voice suddenly said from directly in front of him. Startled, Bradley focused on Katie, who watched him notice her with a kind smile on her face. “Are you back with us now?” 

“When did you get here?” he asked, rather rudely, and immediately felt bad for it. Katie was almost as nice as Colin and treating her bad was eerily like kicking a kitten.

Fortunately, Katie just laughed and patted his arm. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now, Bradley. Maybe you should get your ears checked.”

“Yeah,” Angel piped up. “And your brain, while you’re at it.”

Bradley rolled his eyes, but otherwise didn’t deem the dig worthy of a response. Quickly losing interest in him then, Angel dragged Katie away on a quest to find “some decent company”, as she muttered darkly. 

Of course, both of them took the time to wave Colin goodbye. 

Totally ignoring the girls and their antics, Bradley focused on Colin again. His co-star didn’t look too good when you knew what to look for. There were little lines around his eyes that spoke of tension and every now and again he’d wince a bit. He was sitting totally still, consciously avoiding movement.

It had taken Bradley a while to recognize the subtle signs of Colin in pain, but now they stood out to him like neon signs in the dark. 

“Hey,” he said softly, surreptitiously looking around. It was unusual for Colin to be alone long, wherever he went really, and the last thing he wanted was for some over-zealous PA to overhear something Colin might not be comfortable with sharing. 

From the start, Colin had felt the responsibility of playing the title character very strongly and as a result he’d been known to ignore sickness and injury for long periods of time so that they all could keep working. As a result, the others - especially Richard as the self-proclaimed worrywart of the main cast - had taken to keep a close eye on him and reported every cough, limp or rash to TPTB. Which, again, happened to annoy Colin to no end.

While not totally against this “conspiracy of Florence Nightingale wannabes” as he called it – really, as accident and allergy-prone as Colin was, he should accept any help he got – Bradley had found his own way of looking out for his friend. It worked really well, too, and came with the added benefit of not pissing him off. 

Much. 

The difference was that while the others worked against Colin’s wishes, Bradley actually managed to cater to them. Instead of forcing Colin to stay in bed whenever he didn’t feel well or was in any kind of pain, he found solutions. May it be a simple painkiller, a home remedy or a strategically placed heating pad, he knew about it and had it on hand. It had gotten so bad that his trailer looked like a giant had sneezed into a pharmacy, as Angel had so eloquently put it. Thing was, he didn’t care one bit.

It was their own little counter-conspiracy and most of the time it worked pretty well. Not one to be overly tactile, Colin nonetheless endured every bit of fussing and doctoring Bradley administered mostly without complaint. 

Which incidentally brought him back to Hypothesis number four: Colin not only liked him. Colin LIKED him. As in ‘wants to have wild monkey sex on Uther’s throne and draw little hearts all over the scripts’. He’d probably labelled his clothes with C.J. already. As in Colin James, of course.

Grinning to himself at the thought, Bradley ended his surveillance with a satisfied nod. There wasn’t anyone about to pounce them, he decided, as he squatted down beside his co-star. “How you doing, Morgan?” he asked quietly. 

Colin smiled at him. “’M good, Bradley. Just a bit sleep-deprived is all.”

“Right.” Bradley huffed in annoyance. “And the way you’re squinting is you practicing seduction, I reckon.”

Chuckling at that, Colin moved his head in a way that on a good day would have been a negative response, but today was barely even perceptible. “Don’t need any practice on that, believe me.”

Bradley believed him. Colin probably just had to smile in that overly joyous but also slightly shy way he had, and every woman, man or butterfly in the vicinity would be swooning. 

At least, he knew *he* did it all the frikkin’ time.

“And people think you’re the modest one,” he muttered, half distracted by the way Colin’s long fingers stroked idly over the blanket covering him. There was something obscene about the movement, and he swallowed hard as a sudden image of those hands gliding over his body came to him. The way they’d feel as they caressed him all over…

It hadn’t been easy at first, realizing that what he felt for Colin was more than the vague attraction one sometimes felt when meeting someone new. Most of the time, it wasn’t really about the person at all, he figured. The attraction came from all the opportunities you had when you first got to know someone. A clean slate, so to speak, a chance to re-establish yourself and be whoever you want to be. 

Of course, with Colin it was different. He’d not once tried to be anyone but himself and that in itself should have been the biggest clue ever. Because for Bradley, acting wasn’t just something he did for a living – he did it *while* living as well. He’d done it while growing up, playing the part of the good son flawlessly, and now he did it on Set all the time, even with the cameras off. 

It wasn’t often that he met someone he felt was worthy of making an effort for. Colin definitely fell in that category, and so Bradley found himself doing the weirdest things whenever the other man was around. Like actually telling the truth, for example. 

“Now,” he finally said gruffly, when all Colin did was grin infuriatingly. “Do you want me to give you a massage, or not?” 

Colin very satisfyingly choked a bit and gawked at him with a vaguely horrified expression.

Bradley let Colin flounder around for a few moments before dead-panning: “You know, because of the headache.”

As he often did, Colin laughed at the joke, even if it was at his own expense. “Surely it’s a sign that I’m around you too much when I start to hear double-entendres everywhere.”

“Or maybe you’re finally catching up to the rest of us,” Bradley couldn’t help but quip. Colin’s dark humour was legendary by now, along with the fact that his jokes never, ever had sexual content. Ever. Even Katie made Colin blush crimson sometimes with her comments.

Before Colin had a chance to reply, a sweaty and tired-looking runner came up to them. Bradley shook his head. Not even noon yet and everyone was already exhausted. “They’re ready for you now, Colin,” the runner said with a forced smile. “Oh, and there’s been another change, we’re going to do the stable scene instead of the courtyard one. The car is already waiting for you.”

Colin nodded and silently began gathering his stuff. Bradley frowned. He could have sworn that he’d seen a slight grimace on his face and that almost never happened. Colin loved his work and would rather shoot scenes all day then do one interview. 

Except when there were dogs involved, of course.

Still frowning, Bradley tried to remember what this episode was about, but drew a blank. He was pretty sure he’d know when dogs played a part in it, though. He usually had his camera with him on those days. 

So Colin’s grimace of distaste had to have another reason. He wished he had his call-sheet with him, but he’d left it in the trailer. He hadn’t needed it, as he’d only had a small scene on horseback this morning and now was free till after lunch. 

Shit, horses. “It’s the stunt today, isn’t it? The one where Merlin is thrown off that horse?”

Colin didn’t answer, but continued to carefully fold the blanket. 

Bradley seethed. “There’s no way you’re gonna do a stunt right now, Colin, you hear me? Not with the way you can barely move your head. Come on, we’ll talk to the director and have him re-schedule again. Can’t be that difficult, the way they’ve been bouncing scenes around lately.”

“You know that I’m not going to do that, Bradley.” Colin sounded resigned and a little bit stubborn. Together they walked in the direction of the cars.

“Why the hell not?” Bradley countered and kicked at a small stone. “It’s not as if they’re going to sack you because of a headache.”

“Exactly,” Colin answered in that infuriatingly patient way he had. “It’s just a headache, nothing major. I’m not even seeing double or anything. Let’s not waste a sick day on that, okay? I’m sure there’ll be days when I’ll need it more than now.”

That sounded almost reasonable. Bradley was instantly suspicious. “Why do you want to do it so bad? You should be at the top of your game for this, or you’ll get hurt.”

Colin, the little shit, rolled his eyes. “I just don’t want to make a fuss. And as for me getting hurt, you know that they’ll have three stuntmen around all the time. I probably won’t even come near the horse. They’re a bit touchy on that after what happened last time.”

Bradley snorted. “Well, good. Less opportunity for you to nearly decapitate yourself.”

“It wasn’t that bad!” Colin exclaimed, earning a startled glance from their driver. It was the French one, and Bradley had yet to memorise his name. 

“It so was,” Bradley said and watched his co-star get into the backseat. He had to quash the impulse to join him there and only knowing that his presence would not be easily explained kept him from actually doing it. Sure, he could just tell everyone that he was only there to keep an eye on Colin so that he wouldn’t overdo it and get sick.

Or he could just wave a rainbow flag around and sing YMCA at the top of his lungs. And post a video of that on YouTube, too, just to be consistent.

“Listen,” he said instead and rummaged around in the little backpack he’d started to carry around. “At least take an Aleve, or two, come to think of it. And drink something other than coffee, will you?” 

Smiling, Colin waved his water bottle and dutifully took the little pills Bradley shoved at him. “Yes, dad.”

“Good boy,” Bradley grinned despite himself and reached out to softly ruffle the tempting dark hair. The smile on Colin’s face changed slightly at that. It grew gentle and private, and as he looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, Bradley swallowed hard. Sometime between losing himself in Colin’s eyes and the driver’s impatient harrumph his touch turned into a caress.

At the noise, he drew back quickly but tried to be nonchalant about it. Judging from the amused face he saw reflected in the rear-view mirror, he hadn’t quite succeeded. “Right,” he murmured, standing back. “You take care, okay? See you tonight.”

“Yeah,” Colin drawled. “Tonight.” 

As he watched the car drive away, Bradley pondered many things. One of them was the fact that an Irish drawl really helped with sounding sexy as hell. Another was that he’d just definitely proved Hypothesis number five to be correct: yes, he, Bradley James was irrevocably in love and lust with one Colin Morgan.

God help him.

 

* * * * 

He was out of the trailer the second he heard the cars’ deep rumble. It was almost dark out and for two hours now he’d been sitting there, pretending to play on his DS, when in reality he’d spend the time fretting. 

Bradley sighed. He so was turning into Colin’s mother. Ah well, at least they’d have something to bond over on Christmas.

“Are you okay?” he exclaimed as soon as the other man had opened the car door.

Colin nodded, but his smile was pained and his face had a grey tinge to it that Bradley didn’t like at all. Once again, a wave of helpless fury washed over him. This wasn’t right – Colin had taken the brunt of things for weeks now, with 13-hour days being the norm for him, and it started to show. 

Sure, they were behind schedule, but a big part of that was a change in production and had nothing to do with the quality of their work. They hadn’t messed up, especially not Colin, but despite that he was the one to suffer the consequences.

Only a few days ago, at Comic Con, Bradley’d made a total ass of himself when he answered the question which superpower he’d like to have with ‘healing’. Then, he’d only been half-serious, more concerned with what answer would come across as the coolest – total dip-whit that he was, of course he’d chosen the most cliché one ever. 

Now though, as he looked at Colin’s exhausted face, he wished nothing more than for it to be true. 

They trudged over to wardrobe in silence, with Bradley shooting concerned glances at Colin every now and again. Mentally, he was already writing down a list with things he’d take with him to the hotel, things he’d need to baby his best friend a bit. “Say, you do like coconuts, do you?”

Looking up, visibly thrown by the out-of-the-blue question, Colin frowned. “I like how it smells, don’t much care for the taste though. Why?”

“No reason,” Bradley said. Perfect, he thought.

When they were finally on their way to the hotel, Katie looked at his full-to-burst backpack and raised one sable eyebrow. He shrugged, not willing to explain himself in front of prying ears. Namely Angel, who was watching them with too keen an interest. Whatever it was that was developing between him and Colin, it was nothing that Angel should be privy to.

Colin didn’t move even once during the half-hour drive. He was huddled in the seat, with his forehead pressed against the window and his eyes closed. Bradley met Katie’s concerned eyes and nodded at her. She smiled at him and squeezed his arm. Bradley took that as approval.

 

* * * *

Manoeuvring Colin into the room was a chore, especially when he insisted on it being *his* room. Bradley finally yielded, even though he was positive that his room had the much nicer view. Colin looked at him funny when he walked in as if it was a given that he’d stay. For Bradley it was.

“I suggest you go and take a bath first thing, yes? They did feed you on Set, did they? I may have some leftover sandwiches from yesterday if you’re hungry, but they’re ham ones. Stupid vegetarians, I say. Way to spoil a sandwich by leaving out the meat. Hm, maybe if I peeled it off…?” It took him a while, busy as he was planning out the evening, to notice that Colin hadn’t answered any of his questions.

He looked up from emptying out his bag on the table. “Well?”

Colin was still standing at the door, looking totally beat. “Why are you doing this, Bradley?” he asked softly, confusion warring with exasperation. “It isn’t you, you know. This whole over-protective momma bear thing, I mean.”

That stung. “Maybe it is,” Bradley snapped a little too harshly, feeling defensive. 

Infuriatingly, Colin shook his head and half-smiled. “It totally isn’t. You’re Bradley. You’re self-centered, obnoxious, intensely private and incredibly funny, but observant and caring you ain’t. You don’t even know how to take care of yourself most of the time.”

“And yet I’ve been doing it for you for weeks now, haven’t I?”

“That you did. And I want to know why, because frankly, it’s confusing as hell.”

Bradley frowned. He wanted Colin to be all sorts of things. Thankful, for once. Impressed, of course, and maybe even slightly wooed. But confused? Definitely not on the list. “Huh. What is it that you don’t get, exactly? You’re not feeling well and I want to help, it’s simple like that. Am I that much of an asshole for this to be a novel concept?”

“Course not, Bradley.” Colin sighed. “It’s just. Look, I’m not some delicate flower, alright? I won’t wither away under pressure and I can take care of myself.”

Now Bradley was confused. “But why should you? Helping you, looking out for you, that’s not a sign of me thinking you incompetent. Not at all! I care for you and I want to make sure that you’re okay. Surely you have encountered something like that before. It’s called friendship.”

“Yeah,” Colin huffed, slowly making his way over to the bed, plopping down on it. “Fair enough. But I don’t see you following Angel around with painkillers and cherry pit pillows, so what makes me so special?”

Fighting back a hysterical laugh, Bradley made a spur-of-the-moment decision. He was famous for those, and infamous as well. But it was now or never for him, he felt that, and though it had taken him years and loads of heartbreak, he’d finally learned that sometimes you had to take the plunge, consequences be damned. “Everything,” he croaked.

Colin froze. “Um, what?”

“You heard me,” Bradley continued, almost in a whisper. He felt like he was standing on a precipice. This could either end up really awesome, or… not. Even though he was pretty sure that the attraction was mutual, there were a lot of things that could still stand between them, none of the least was Colin’s work ethic. If he decided that being with Bradley wasn’t worth the risk of it ending badly then this thing between them was doomed to stay unfulfilled. Colin was stubborn like that.

Trying to shake the depressing thoughts away, Bradley took a deep breath and met Colin’s eyes. “Everything about you is special, Colin, and you don’t even know it. Part of your charm, I guess. Thing is, you’re right. I would never do for Angel what I do for you, or for anyone else, really. If that makes me self-centred or shallow than so be it, but at least I got my priorities straight.”

Colin’s gaze was intent, but his face was closed off and unreadable. For a second, Bradley wanted nothing more than to run and hide. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, though, and so he just stood there in the middle of the room like a total moron, waiting for the proverbial axe to fall. 

It didn’t. 

As he was watching, a smile spread over Colin’s expressive features and it was the more intense twin of the one he’d seen in the car earlier. His own private smile, the one no one else got to see. Bradley actually felt his heart skip a beat at that. 

Without conscious thought, he’d crossed the distance between them and without further ado, he cradled Colin’s face in his hands and tilted his head just so. Finally, he had the time to think, just before their lips touched for the first time. 

It wasn’t a perfect kiss. They were both too nervous for it to be. There was too much shifting around and clashing of teeth involved but for Bradley, perfect had just taken on a new meaning. 

Because this was Colin and they were *kissing*. Perfect. 

“Not so straight, obviously,” Colin quipped much later, when they finally came up for air. They were both lying on the bed now, legs entangled and their whole bodies touching. 

Bradley couldn’t help but laugh helplessly at the bad pun. “Colin Morgan,” he chortled. “Was that a dirty joke? I thought you didn’t make those.”

“Only when I’m in bed with someone.” Colin blushed adorably as he said that. He still looked tired, but at least the desolate slump to his shoulders was gone. 

“That so?” 

“Hm.” Snuggling into him, Colin laid his head on Bradley’s chest. “Is this alright? ‘Cause I don’t think I’m up for much more tonight. Sorry.”

Bradley rolled his eyes, even though Colin couldn’t see it. “Of course it’s alright,” he answered a bit gruffly, trying not to melt contentedly into the mattress. “Taking care of you, remember? Which is why I’m making you get up to brush your teeth now.”

Colin turned his head and glared at him half-heartedly. “You’re kidding, right?”

Bradley grinned. “Yep. But we should at least lose the jeans and get under the covers.”

“Sure.” Colin didn’t move. 

Cradling the slight body to him, Bradley pressed a kiss to the dark mop of hair and closed his eyes. Later, he decided. For now, having Colin here, safe and sound, was enough. Making a mental note to send Neil a thank-you card, Bradley fell asleep.

 

* * * * 

 

The thing with dating your co-star was, that even though it should have been an ideal situation, actually, it wasn’t. 

Bradley was used to sneaking around. Being an actor with a fan-base consisting mostly of thirteen year old girls made keeping any relationship he had to himself sort of mandatory. He’d joked about it in the past and found it ridiculous, even though he kind of understood the reasoning. For some reason his fans didn’t like seeing him with someone, even if that someone was a nice girl with a cute Welsh accent and hazel eyes that he’d met at Marks & Spencer. 

Having Colin as his boyfriend now, and even though he still jeered at being able to call him that, their being together also opened a whole new box of worms. For both of them it was too early on in their career to be comfortable with being recognised as the ‘gay ones’. They’d talked about it and both agreed on trying to establish a rapport first that was based on what they could do on screen, rather than what they did in bed. It was only a matter of time before they’d be outed, of course, but discretion was definitely the better part of valour for the time being. 

So, secrecy was a necessity for them. The main cast knew of their relationship, as did the heads of production and a few others. But the extras and most of the crew had no idea, and there were enough fans now coming to the Set that PDA’s of any kind had to be explainable with their friendship anyway. 

They even had to cut back on the time they watched the other work. Apparently, staring at each other with adoring expressions for hours on end sort of gave them away. “Eye-sex”, Angel called it and laughed at them. She had absolutely no sympathy for their situation and Bradley was positive that she was jealous. 

Having a relationship while being tucked away in France for weeks on end was hard and despite all the difficulties that came with being in love with Colin, Bradley was intensely glad they got to spend so much of their time together. 

His eyes fell on where the other man was trying to make one of the stunt-horses bite Angel in the ass by throwing pieces of carrot on her dress. Grinning, he headed over to them and winked at the exasperated PA that was unsuccessfully trying to get Colin to stop. 

“Let me take him off your hands,” he drawled in his most condescending tone of voice, the one he made Arthur use most of the time. 

He then proceeded to manhandle a spluttering Colin over into the tent that was tucked in one corner of the courtyard. It was their improvised break-room for when they didn’t have the time between scenes to get back to base-camp and it housed the much-needed coffee along with some of their favourite snacks. 

As he’d hoped, it was empty at this hour.

“What are you doing, you big loon?” Colin exclaimed, sounding a bit put-upon, but there was a twinkle in his eyes and he was obviously trying hard not to smile. 

“Hm,” Bradley hummed, crowding his boyfriends’ personal space. “Kidnapping you?”

“More like molesting me,” Colin answered a bit breathlessly, leaning into Bradley’s touches that grew decidedly more NC-17 with every passing moment. They were fused together almost from head to toe and Bradley couldn’t stop himself from burying one hand in Colin’s hair. It was soft and silky, and it smelled faintly of lemons and blood oranges. Not the manliest of smells but it suited him perfectly. 

Mostly, Bradley figured, ‘cause Colin totally was the girl in the relationship. 

Groaning softly as they ground together, Bradley stopped thinking as soon as their lips touched. Kissing Colin tended to do that; it short-circuited his brain like nobody’s business. He tried not to let it show too much, though. No use in feeding the Morgan ego anymore than absolutely necessary. 

Still. He was pretty sure that no-one could kiss like Colin. Which was the only reason – and he’d swear to that, he really would – that he protested with a whimper as Colin pulled away after too short a time. 

“I really have to go back,” he murmured against Bradley’s lips, his warm breath tickling over Bradley’s face. 

“You do?” Bradley answered huskily, grinding their lower bodies together in a very distracting manner. 

Colin choked a bit, and if there’d been a single doubt that he enjoyed what was going on, it would have been erased by the way he gravitated back towards Bradley as if pulled by invisible ropes. 

“Maybe,” he gasped, manoeuvring them to the back where a rack hung with several of the long cloaks that the Knights of Camelot wore, provided them with at least an illusion of privacy. “Maybe I do have a few minutes.”

Bradley grinned, as he captured that tempting mouth again. “That’s my boy.”

 

* * * * 

 

Bradley was done in. They’d had another killer day, with barely enough of a break to grab a bite. At least this time they all had to suffer, and by the time they’d wrapped up the day, even Katie was complaining about a headache. 

It was on days like this that he seriously asked himself if taking a job where wielding a sword was a daily occurrence hadn’t been the biggest mistake of his life. He was very much looking forward to a hot shower and some French cuisine á la catering while he waited for Colin to be finished already, when a familiar voice rang out.

“Oi, Bradley!” 

Turning in surprise, he smiled broadly at the approaching man. “Santiago!” he exclaimed, a bit embarrassed by the obvious excitement in his voice. “I didn’t know you were coming today, Brian told me he’d pick you up at the airport tomorrow!”

Grabbing him into a big hug, Santiago smiled. “Change of plans. I had to be here for a training session with the new stunt guy.”

“Rode you hard?” 

Snorting, Santiago punched him in the shoulder. “He did indeed. No reason for you to gloat, though, James.”

Bradley cackled. “Oh, come on. You know that every day they’re laying into someone other than me is a good day in my book.”

“Wimp. Now, if you’d like to stop your whining anytime soon, I could probably be badgered into buying you a beer in Compiégne.” Santiago wiggled his eyebrows.

Bursting out laughing, Bradley threw an arm around his friend, noting absently that his muscles didn’t hurt quite as much as a few minutes ago. “You may invite me out, my lowly peasant.” 

“Great,” Santiago said, still grinning, as they began to walk. “So, where’s your shadow? Shall we invite him, too, or is that 24/7 finally getting on your nerves as much as it should have done a long time ago?”

Bradley started guiltily and for a long moment he didn’t know what to answer. Santiago didn’t know about them, about the change their relationship had gone through the last couple of weeks. He’d been there for the early stages of their friendship, though, and had an, what Bradley figured, unhealthy interest in how they got along. 

He probably had a suspicion about them and was just poking around for fun. Bradley’d heard that he’d done the same on his other Sets and wasn’t concerned. Much. Thing was, he’d harboured a bit of a man-crush on Santiago from the day they’d met, and even though Colin was his first boyfriend and the only man he’d ever seriously thought about in a sexual way, Santiago had come close. 

Ironically, their situation was a lot like the fans’ interpretation of the Arthur/Merlin/Lancelot relationship and that bothered him. Fans should never be proven right, or they grew insufferable. A bit like sisters, he thought.

All in all, as much as he liked Santiago, he wasn’t ready to tell him just yet. If he was honest with himself, which he admittedly often avoided to be, a big part of that was that he didn’t want to lose the easy camaraderie between them. Okay, and the flirting. 

He quickly suppressed a wave of guilt and tried not to listen to the voice in his head – which sounded suspiciously like his grandmothers – whispering about lies of omission being lies as well. Wasn’t like he planned to do anything about the vague attraction he felt for the other actor, so it wasn’t actually cheating, right? Right. 

Almost defiantly, Bradley turned back to Santiago and grinned at him. “Nah, we don’t have to wait for Colin. He’ll be at work till at least ten and I’m thirsty now. Let’s go.”

Flushing a bit at Santiago’s muttered: “Oh, I like my men bossy,” Bradley walked away.

 

* * * * 

He almost didn’t make it out of bed in time for pick-up the next day and stumbled more than walked up to the car. To his surprise, Colin wasn’t there. Frowning, he mumbled a careworn “G’Morning” in Brian’s general direction and slumped down in the seat, closing the door behind him to conserve warmth. It wasn’t actually cold in Pierrefonds yet, even at eight o’clock in the morning, but being tired always made him feel it more.

When they actually started to move, though, Bradley woke himself from his hangover-induced stupor enough to ask: “Hey, aren’t we forgetting someone? Big ears, talks funny, plays the magician in the show?”

“Colin’s already up and about, Bradley, as you’d know if you’d taken a look at your sides this morning,” Brian answered teasingly, as he manoeuvred them through the light traffic. 

Busted. “Oh, yeah, right. I forgot,” he mumbled, trying unsuccessfully to stave off the feeling that this was going to be one of *those* days.

 

* * * * 

 

His morning didn’t improve much.

“You suck, you know,” Angel hissed at him, scant seconds after his arrival, but didn’t slow down on her way to catering to elaborate. Bradley frowned, not really sure what to make of that.

Katie just looked at him and shook her head, a morose expression on her pretty face.

Richard obviously had no idea what was going on, to which Bradley could relate a lot, but even Tony looked pensive. 

And still, Colin was nowhere to be found. 

“You moron,” Santiago said while stuffing his face with scrambled eggs and toast. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Colin?”

“Uhm, let me think,” Bradley answered sarcastically, “maybe because it’s none of your business?”

“None of my…” Santiago fumed. “It sure becomes my business, you self-absorbed little shit, when suddenly everyone looks at me like I’m some kind of adulterer after a couple of drinks with *you*!”

Wincing, Bradley buried his face in his hands. “That bad?” he murmured from behind his little hiding place.

“Actually, no,” Santiago said, and Bradley was glad to hear that some of the rage had bled away from his voice. It was replaced by… wait, amusement? Dreading his friend’s next words, he briefly contemplated the possibility of the props guys having a knife that was sharp enough to stab himself with. 

“Spit it out already.” He finally said, when Santiago hesitated. Looking up, he noticed the gleeful grin and felt his stomach plummet.

“Let’s just say that nobody is angry at *me* anymore.”

“Fuck,” Bradley couldn’t help himself but say. “So you told them that you had no idea about me and Colin and now all of them think that I went behind Colin’s back?”

“Yup. Which you kind of did, you have to admit. I should say though that I also told everyone that nothing happened between us last night. Not my decision, mind you.”

Surprised, Bradley met his intense gaze. What he saw there stopped his breath for a second. He felt elated by the knowledge that if he wanted to claim this man as his own, he could. It was extremely flattering and he involuntarily squared his shoulders a bit. 

A second later, he slumped down again as the consequences of the situation became suddenly clear. He felt like the biggest asshole in the world. 

“Santiago,” he began, not really knowing what to say.

“It’s alright,” the other man interrupted him, having studied his face intently. “I didn’t, like, seriously think I had a chance anyway. I’ve been here, you know, those few weeks in the beginning when you were so busy pretending to hate Colin that you never even noticed anyone else.”

Bradley nodded a bit dumbly, for once at a loss for words. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out at last. “I don’t even know what to say to you, but I just…” He stood abruptly, gesticulating wildly.

“You have to find him,” Santiago again understood perfectly, and Bradley felt a pang of intense regret. They would have been good together, he thought and said as much. Santiago smiled, spearing the rest of his now-cold eggs. “I know,” he said simply. “But you and Colin are great together.”

And, really, what more to it was there?

 

* * * * 

 

Bradley found Colin sitting on the grass in between the colourful tents that the props guys had put up this morning, a half-eaten banana lying beside him. He looked solemn and to Bradley’s surprise he was fiddling with his iPod, white earpieces just visible. Colin seldom took it with him to the Set as he found it uncommunicative and often scolded Bradley for just wandering off with his between scenes.

As he walked closer, he saw that Colin’s lips were moving slightly, probably in tune with the lyrics and felt a fond smile grow on his lips. As he drew nearer, Colin looked up and Bradley started a bit at the look on his boyfriend’s face. There was exasperation warring with hurt and, strangely, a bit of amusement. 

Not entirely discouraged by this combination, Bradley plopped down beside him. For a while, they just sat there, neither one being quite brave enough to make the first move.

Finally, Colin sighed and pulled at the earplugs, catching them with a quick flick of his wrist. “I missed you last night,” he said neutrally.

“Yeah, about that,” Bradley took a deep breath, steeling himself. “Look, I just wanted to have an evening out with a friend. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you were working and I was bored and there was nothing going on between us *at all*—“

Colin’s deep belly laugh stopped Bradley in his tracks. Huffing, he waited until Colin had calmed down again, and then waited a bit more, before he finally asked: “Are you going to tell me what it is that you find so funny?” 

Wiping tears of joy from his cheeks, Colin hiccupped a little. “It’s just. You. You’re hilarious sometimes, Bradley.”

Feeling irritation rise inside him, Bradley didn’t even acknowledge that with an answer. He just rotated his hand in a gesture that clearly said ‘continue’. 

Colin rolled his eyes. “Stop that. You’re channelling Arthur again and you know how I hate that. So you want to know what I was laughing about?”

Bradley barely restrained himself from saying “Duh”.

“It was you thinking that I was actually jealous of Santiago last night. I know you, and I know Santiago and that’s that. I know you two are friends and just because we,” he pointed at Bradley and then at himself, “are an ‘us’ now, doesn’t mean we have to spend every waking moment together.”

He was humbled by that kind of trust, and a bit awed by the difference of being with a guy that just got it, instead of a complicated and unpredictable girl. Bradley would have liked nothing better than to snog the other man senseless, but once again his intent was arrested by them being in public. Still, something didn’t make sense here.

“So,” he clarified with a frown. “Nothing’s wrong between us?” Mentally, he was already so busy planning his sweet revenge on the other cast members, who’d obviously found it very funny to make him believe that Colin had had a problem with last night, that he almost missed his boyfriend’s quiet: “I wouldn’t quite say that.”

Once again on this not-so-great day, his stomach plummeted. Daring to take Colin’s hand, hiding the contact between their bodies, Bradley tried to be as sincere as possible. “What is it then? Tell me, so that I won’t do it again. I’ll probably find more things to fuck up, though, just a warning, but at least I can cross this one off the list of ‘Things-Bradley-will-bugger-up’.”

Colin smiled at his antics, and there wasn’t anything fake about it. He also hadn’t pulled his hand away, both of which, Bradley took as a good sign. “I just,” he started, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. “I would have needed you yesterday, that’s all.”

Bradley groaned and could have hit himself. For weeks now, Colin had talked about this day, about the string of tough emotional scenes he had to nail and the limited time in which he had to do it. He’d totally forgotten about that, even though only a couple of days ago, he’d bought a new relaxing cinnamon bubble bath in preparation.

The thought of losing Colin over something like this burned like acid through his veins and for the first time he understood those cheesy novel characters that’d do anything to make their one true love forgive them. 

So much for taking care of Colin, he thought bitterly. It was a totally new feeling for him, placing someone’s needs before his own so completely, but somehow it felt like the natural consequence of loving someone this much. And it hurt to realize he’d let them down. 

He seriously had to stop quoting Nicholas Sparks anytime soon.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured instead, shaking his head slowly, not quite daring to meet Colin’s gaze. 

“It’s alright, Bradley,” Colin answered sincerely, “You don’t ask for much and I kind of know that right now I’m the high maintenance part of this relationship.”

Snorting, Bradley murmured: “Girl,” under his breath.

Colin hit him half-heartedly with his free hand, more of a caress than a punishment. “Forgetting something isn’t such a big crime, just, maybe, next time try to have better timing while doing it, deal?”

Grinning broadly, Bradley nodded, falling even more for this strange, beautiful man. He was so going to spoil him rotten tonight! Now, if he could just remember where he’d put the strawberry lube…


End file.
